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We understand the ails of humanity can largely be contributed to our own lack of connectedness. Much—if not all—the strife we experience, whether through crime, war, abortion, disease, environmental concerns, socioeconomic unrest, prejudice, hatred and fear—boils up from a well of disconnectedness and identity. It is in the seeing of the world as separate from ourselves that we come to learn (and teach) abuse; both self-abuse and the abuse of other living creatures, including the living system that sustains us all—the Earth. Without a concrete sense of connectedness with others and the world, we naturally begin to foster and define an identity for ourselves. At first—as infants and young children—this is done for us by our parents, grandparents and the other adults around us. As children, our parents choose our name, our clothing, our diet and a myriad of other experiences based upon their own preferences. Their preferences are a result of a complex matrix of conditions and experiences that have resulted from their own lives which were—in no small way—crafted by the adults around them as they grew up.  [As we grow older, we adopt this role of crafting a persona and we tend to do this rather unconsciously.]

On and on the cycle continues. Parents influencing their children, the children grow up, become parents themselves and pass their own influences on, and on, and on (for better or for worse.) Each generation goes on passing (or works to avoid passing) the sins and favors of the generation before. In Eastern tradition, this is what is meant when it is said a son takes on the sins (or the karma) of his father and forefathers. We are talking about a way of being and thinking that is passed on from generation to generation.

Like the energy shared among celestial bodies, sometimes—whether by your own power or as a result of a key event—we may break free of the gravitational pull of this ancestral energy, but our direction is still grossly influenced by our beginnings. This is especially true the closer we are to our point of origin (birth). As we move away from our perceived beginning, however,

1. we become more able to consciously choose our direction, and
2. the courses we set grow more attainable as we continue to refine our heading by orders of degrees.

In the event we choose to completely change direction (whether by conscious decision or inspired through a life-changing event), we establish a new course and drive toward that, but we do so with greater wisdom (assuming we learn from our experiences upon having them.)

In this way, not only are we connected to our parents, our parents’ parents and the lines of ancestry that proceeds them, but so too are we the direct ascendants of our own lineage, paying forward the writing on our own walls onto that of our children, their children and their children’s children. On and on it goes.

Extend this now—not only to our blood relations—but to all the people we come into contact with on a daily basis; such as our friends, coworkers, associates and acquaintances. Extend this to the people we meet on the street, the people we share the road with, the people we serve and whom serve us for the briefest of instances, whether we are staying at a hotel for a single night or checking out a book at the library or purchasing groceries at the city market.

Think about this for a moment. Have you ever had anyone do something unexpected for you? Some random act of kindness? I once had a client gift me with a free hotel room in Chicago. As a travel agent, Lynn knew I had collected quotes for a surprise trip for my wife months prior, but I had pulled back from making reservations because I had hit a number of road blocks in deciding how to get there. I had tabled the idea and about two to three months later, Lynn approached me with the offer of a free room at the Embassy Suites in the heart of downtown Chicago. She said she “had some rooms open up.” It was a wonderful offer that came out of the blue and it was enough to rekindle the idea of treating my wife to a weekend in Chicago. I hired our nanny for the weekend and my wife and I hit the museums, gallery and soaked up some of the sights and sounds of this wonderful city. It was marvelous! To show our appreciation, I sent Lynn a gift certificate to a local up-scale restaurant upon our return.

Conversely, have you ever been the recipient of someone’s ire while driving? How did that make you feel? Do you still remember the experience? Myself, I have multiple stories here, however we’re not going to get into those, as that’s not where we want to put our focus. Suffice it to say, it’s likely we remember the little random transgressions, right? How do you react when they happen? Do you react to anyone differently afterward? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you easily shrug off the negative experience and don’t even tell anyone about it. Or, maybe you become so charged by the transaction you share it with anyone who will listen. If you share the story, are you telling those people a positive, uplifting story? Do you think they will leave your presence feeling inspired and uplifted?

Now, am I saying you should never share your bad experiences or misfortunes with others? No, I’m not saying that. Among those we should be able to lean on, counselors are professionally trained to listen to stories upon stories of hurt and misfortune and then shed these stories rather than allow themselves to become burdened with the collective weight of them. With varying degrees of success, they do this. Those who aren’t as good at clearing and recharging their energy on a frequent basis usually end up finding another line of work. Why should this be? Aren’t they separate from their patients? Ah, well, there’s the conundrum. How do you help heal someone while remaining disconnected from them? I would offer it’s nigh impossible.

There is a Hawaiian method of healing called Ho’oponopono. This method is the exact opposite of distancing yourself from another with the intent to heal them from afar. In fact, Ho’oponopono says a problem doesn’t present itself to you (even if it’s in the form of someone else’s problem) unless you’re part of the problem! By agreeing to take 100 percent responsibility for the problems that cross our paths, we now no longer seek to heal or correct the other person as if there was something wrong with them. Instead, we turn inward and ask Divinity to heal that which is within ourselves that has caused the misalignment within them.

Where is this on the “connectedness spectrum”? Is this connected or disconnected thinking? I would offer this is extremely connected thinking. In taking 100 percent responsibility for the ailments and disharmony we see in the world, we take the first step toward healing them. What is the first step in any recovery program? It is to acknowledge we have a problem. Only through owning the problem are we able to then right the condition we seek to correct. Additionally, within these same recovery programs, notice the submission to a higher power. “Let go and let God,” you’ll hear. There is a common understanding across most religions, institutions of healing and recovery programs that we are not alone. In fact, we can turn to Divinity and—with Divine countenance and direction—find ourselves as co-authors of the solution we seek. The first step for attaining what we seek then (be it health, wealth, or happiness for ourselves or others) is to first come to terms with the fact we are part of the problem.

Second, we must realize we will accomplish little on our own. Indeed, it is the connecting with our dreams, our loved ones, our patients, our clients, our healing, our abundance, our joy and our own inner Divinity that we may hope to achieve any of it. Anyone who builds a dream into reality, be it a new company, a lifestyle or any other worthy endeavor, must start with connecting with the ideal in mind. We affect the universe around us in three ways: thought, word and deed.

I once heard someone say that it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are while they rattle around in your head because—until they are evinced through word or deed—they don’t matter. I would respectfully disagree with this. Through the study of quantum physics and other means, we have proven thoughts have power to alter physical matter (see Emoto’s work with water crystals.)

In the documentary “What the Bleep are We?”, the topic of physical reality is discussed. We know that all matter is made up of molecules and the space between the molecules. We also know that the difference between matter in the form of a gas, liquid or solid is negligible, being defined merely by the difference in frequency by which they vibrate. Additionally, the space between these molecules is more than a little. For instance, if you took a hydrogen atom and zoomed in until the proton in its nucleus was the size of a grain of sand, the electron orbiting the nucleus would be over half a mile away, held in orbit by nothing but an electrostatic force field. Most of everything you experience as physical reality is made up of empty space. That includes the floor you stand on, the chair you sit in, the clothes you’re wearing, the body you move with and the food you put in it; everything.

We are not our body. We are not the clothes we wear, nor the car we drive, nor the place we live nor the place where we were born. We are not the job we have or don’t have. We are not our things. Even our emotions are temporary; we’re certainly not them either. So, what are we then? I might offer we just simply are. Or, more appropriately, you may say to yourself, “I am.”

“I am” is ubiquitous.

“I am” is complete connectedness.

“I am.”

Connected.